Reviews

Review: Dr Róisín O’Sheaerview

Partner in Arc Mediation, legal academic, trainer, Chair of the Irish Professional Mediators’ Organisation and Ministerial appointee to the Child Maintenance Review Group 2020-2022. ‘Scars of Divorce’ by mediator Michelle Browne is a raw and authentic memoir, and a powerful appeal for help to the Government on behalf of the tens of thousands of families impacted by separation and divorce in Ireland, who may find themselves caught up in the war of litigation. This is essentially a book of three parts.

The author explores love and starting a family and brings us through her story, warts and all. It is an intensely honest and personal retelling of marital breakdown, the author’s words powerfully conveying her traumatic experience of divorce through the Irish Courts; first in her 20s and again in her 40s. She speaks of a “whole new level of mental torture” when solicitors became involved, where she and her husband were “pitted against each other in a vicious manner”. Like thousands of others before her with little knowledge of the law and the legal system, Michelle speaks of feeling bewildered through the years it took to get her first separation in court. She describes it as a very damaging process, starting with hundreds of letters moving between solicitors that often contained “outrageous accusations”. A war was waged, and hefty legal fees in the tens of thousands accrued. The author’s second divorce is described as a protracted legal battle that took over 10 years, with “many many scars”. The lack of any certainty of outcome through litigating perhaps best summed up in the description the author attributes to her then barrister, “family law is like vegetable soup: you never know what you are going to get.”

The second part of this book looks at the legal profession; how solicitors are the go-to for separating spouses, and questions whether this is the right starting point. The author also questions the appropriateness of a courtroom as a forum to find resolution for families and says that the elephant in the room is that those who practice family law are “used to the high revenues generated from divorcing couples”; an uptake in mediation to agree separation or divorce will therefore “impact on solicitors’ pockets”. Michelle welcomes the words of Minister Simon Harris, then Minister for Justice, in February 2023, announcing the commencement of the passage of the Family Courts Bill 2022, an acknowledgement by the Government that there is a need for change and “a clear promise that such change will be achieved”. The author calls for a legal system that uses plain English, takes months rather than years and “does not end in horse-trading between solicitors and barristers on the steps of our courts”.

The third part of this book brings hope with the possibility for change. The author, who is now a practising mediator, explains that section 11 of the Mediation Act 2017 allows separating spouses to have a legally binding Separation Agreement through mediation, with no need to go near a court; and notes that separating spouses can also reach an agreement for divorce (mediation settlement) which is then brought to Court for a Divorce to be granted by mutual agreement. The author provides a clear and simple overview of mediation and the benefits of using mediation for a legal separation or to agree a divorce and/or parenting arrangements. The book concludes with advice about self-care post the break-down of a marriage and tips about life after divorce. This is a book that will resonate with the thousands of men and women who have experienced Judicial Separation and Divorce through the courts in Ireland. Having carried out extensive doctoral research observing family law cases in the Circuit Court all over the country, I can confirm that Michelle’s experience of our legal system is unfortunately all too common. I highly recommend this book for anyone who finds themselves contemplating legal separation or divorce in Ireland, to assist them to navigate this difficult time and to understand that mediation is a real option.

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